As I continue to watch the daily homeschool blog feeds, I’ve noticed that there seem to be quite a number of posts devoted to the topic of “Why We Homeschool”. While I appreciate each of those blogs and I think that most every reason given is a good one, I also think many of these posts appear to be preaching to the choir. In the interest of honest and loving debate, I think it is time to hear opinions from the flip side.
So, what I want to know is: Why DON’T some Christian parents homeschool?
If there are any Christian folks out there reading this blog who would like to offer a brief explanation for why you don’t homeschool your children, please feel free to offer your reasons here. I’m sure some of our readers would love to know your thoughts as much as I would.
This is obviously a controversial topic and I know that some of you may take offense to this. Please don’t.
NOTE: I apologize to those of you who may have read this post earlier before I took the time to really fine tune my words. And thank you, my wife, for setting me straight.
I am not trying to stand in judgement over you when asking this question. I am asking this out of genuine curiosity and not to start a flame war.
In that spirit, I would expect that all comments remain civil and show the utmost of respect for those with whom you may disagree. If not, your post will be unapproved and you’ll have wasted your time typing it. Nobody wants that, right?
Please provide your explanation in the comments section of this post. Thanks for your time today.
Lance
Hi Lance,
Thanks for the well wishes on my blog this evening.
I thought this was an honest question and I’ll be happy to share my reasons for not homeschooling our oldest.
First of all, he’s my stepson. Had I started back when he was first starting school, I don’t think the “step” thing would have mattered. But I was only his father’s girlfriend at the time.
While I did teach him how to write his letters, and I read to him every night, his father chose to enroll him in a private school. We were married while he was in the 1st grade and we were happy with the school he was attending. I was very involved with the school and was his Cub Scout Den Leader that year. The following year I had my first child and we chose to move closer to my family.
At the time of the move I seriously considered homeschooling him, but all of the stresses of the move and a second (unexpected) pregnancy deterred me.
This past year the opportunity surfaced again but now he’s a teenager. Now the “step” thing matters. It is more important to me to be there for him as a mother figure than a disciplinarian…and he needs discipline at this age.
Also, I was concerned about the strain on the rest of the family the decision to homeschool him now might cause. And, to be quite honest, the stress of trying to work with (more like “against”) him was a huge deterrent. He doesn’t exactly enjoy doing schoolwork.
So that’s my reasoning. I know I’m not a typical case, but I am a case who happened to stumble upon this post.
Homeschooling is a big commitment. While I feel capable of teaching my children (elementery education was my third choice of study in college), many others might not. There are also other factors involved. Finances…many families require two incomes to sustain their standard of living. We’re blessed to work from home. We have our own business and are able to be more flexible with our time than most.
Another thing is not everyone is at the same place in their understanding of their “roles” of parents. (I’m sorry if that last phrase offended anyone.) I was a career woman for a long time before I met my husband. Yes, I was a Christian, but I was independent for almost a decade after graduating from college. Making the transition from single, independent woman to wife and instant stepmom was difficult…then becoming pregnant again and again and dealing with babies only 15 months apart…all of this was a huge transition for me. It was “easier” when I was single.
Thankfully, within the past several months to a year, my attitude and perspective has changed. Before, I looked at having my kids around 24/7 without much of a break kind of “overbearing”. I looked forward to the day they started school…away from home. I’d finally get some kind of a break again. I also dreaded the idea of getting pregnant again (I was pregnant for almost 4 out of the first 5 years of marriage). Society looks down on having so many children…even my mother rolls her eyes at the thought of my having more kids.
Now, I see my children as a real blessing, and the opportunity to shape these gifts God gave me is truly humbling. I used to say things like this last statement before but it was a head thing, not a heart thing. Now, I feel it in my heart. I want to do the best job I possibly can. I only have them for a “little while” and I want to seize this opportunity to train them in the way that they should go…and that includes their schooling. The paradigm has shifted.
Sorry for the novella, but you asked.
No offense taken.
I could tell by the tone of your post that you would be open to my honest opinion, and so I decided to go for it.
I do appreciate your explanation and it makes sense to me.
Yes, a huge factor in our decision to send our kids to public school was outreach, or to evangelize. And I think that can be accomplished with both methods of education. The main thing is that we both have put much thought and prayer into every parenting decision and are doing what is best for our children.
Best wishes in your education endeavors.
Thanks for the reply. I’ll start by apologizing for the first version of my published post. I chose a few poor words and that upset you. I am sorry for that. I have amended my comments and I hope that future readers will not be offended in the same way that you were. I was not trying to be condescending or self-righteous.
That being said, I think I should clarify what I tried to say the first time. I know that there are Christian parents out there who are struggling with whether or not to homeschool their kids. They are grappling with assorted issues that may be holding them back. It was those individuals that I had in mind when I wrote those words. As a family who has also grappled with some of those same struggles, I thought it may be appropriate in this context to offer to help “work through some of the issues” if that would be of some help in making their decision. I hope that is now more clear.
Getting back to the original question, would it be fair to say that your primary motivation for sending your children to public school is to evangelize?
If so, we aren’t so different in our motivations, just our methods.
Of course, we disagree on those methods and I suggest (unless you wish to pursue this chat further) that that is where we should leave the discussion.
Lance
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I am also writing this in the most respectful of ways so please know that up front.
I’ve been waiting for this question as it is only fair that it be turned back on me.
First, though I’d like to address your comment about helping us to “work through some of the issues that are preventing us from homeschooling.”
I have never tried to convince a homeschooler to choose public school. NEVER. And for a homeschooler to try to help me see the error of my ways is one of the things that turns me off. It is what YOU feel is the best choice. For you to suggest that you can help me work through my issues assumes that I have “issues” and that I am mistaken in my choice. What is right for YOU is not always right for ME. For you to suggest that you even need to convince me of the wrongness of my choice comes across as judgmental – something I think both sides of the debate need to avoid.
We are Christians and, yes, we send our kids to public school. We felt to homeschool our children would be to keep them in a bubble and not allow them to go out into the world and let their lights shine. Just as some worry that the other kids in public school can be a bad influence on our children (and YES they can be) we hope we have raised our children to be a GODLY influence on the ones who need it. We have tried to stop worrying about how others can drag us down and focus on how WE can lift THEM up.
Also, we want our children’s faith to be challenged, for that is the only way we feel they can own their faith and not just believe something that we have told them is our faith – kind of a “that’s just the way we believe” attitude. We have found it rewarding for our children to come home and ask us questions about things that have happened in their day (science class is a perfect example); and then going to the scripture and allowing them to see what God’s word says about that. As teenagers they must learn to stand up for their faith and be firm in their resolve to live a Godly life. All of these things can absolutely be accomplished through homeschooling, but we feel strongly that it can be accomplished by allowing our kids to be in the public school environment. And, since our kids are teenagers now, we are really seeing their character and values begin to emerge. We are certainly not disappinted in what we see.
It is important that Christians go out into all areas of the world and live as Jesus did – be a Godly example. Your children are able to do that, I’m sure, with the choice you have made, and our children are able to do that with the choice we have made.
We also feel that we, as parents, are able to reach out to families in the public school system that we would not have met and whose needs we would not have seen, had we homeschooled.
As Christian public school parents, we have put just as much prayer and thought into all of our child rearing decisions (school included) as homeschoolers have. We have carefully and prayerfully considered our options and finally chosen what we think is best for OUR family.
I appreciate your question and interest in our answers.
And I really hope my comment is not deleted for rudeness because I tried really hard to make it sound respectful and polite.